Breaking the YO-YO cylcle

On a couple of occasions in September I sat down to write something on my blog and the words would not flow!!

September for me was a real mixed bag with the return of several episodes of binge eating but also overall success with significant milestones being achieved. The BIG 30kg goal and 30% loss were ticked off and a real personal high of getting into the 60's again!! But along with those successes came a great fear that I had reached a point where in the passed I have got to on to many occasions over the years which had also been a turning point and the upwards climb would begin.

I do not want to go through that EVER AGAIN but it is something that is absorbing my thoughts!! Maybe its a good thing as I have heightened my resolve to succeed but that fear of failure is very much at the fore of my thoughts and the successes have faded into the background.

With the dawn of a new Month I have started a new Non Scale Victory list. This list will be about changing my thought processes from a negative fear of failure to one focusing on the success.

I plan to see a psychologist and explore the reasons that I have not let myself succeed in the past.

I am determined to break the cycle......

Thought I would share part of my presentation...

The Leadership Development Programme has been an awakening of the real me.
The voyage of self discovery,which I was ready and open to embrace,for me has been a catalyst for positive change in the way I deal with the stress.

Through out the programme I was given guidance and strategies for success which have allowed me to make the changes I needed for my general health and wellbeing.

The Myers Briggs profile, I was blown away by its accuracy!! I was somewhat of a skeptic about the value of profiling but the motivators and leadership style listed for ISFP is so ME! I can see myself 100% in everything in my profile-the good, the bad and the ugly.I am someone who is valued centred and has worked hard to bring the team with me. The profiling has allowed me to understand the team and their needs which has been so valuable in working through the culture change at work

The Prayer for the ISFP personality has been answered in the affirmative "O God help me to believe the the truth about myself,no matter how beautiful it is! Help my unbelief!!"(If you don't mind me asking!!)

Staying in the green zone and recognising my defenses has had the greatest impact on how I manage difficult situations and challenging people which is a frequent occurrence in the OR. Although not always perfect I am finding that I now deal with the base of the iceberg so those tip of the iceberg explosions are fewer and far between.

Being able to identify the triggers and changing how I react has been the single most gift for me and has been instrumental to my success on this weight loss journey.

As part of that journey I have kept a list of non scale victories which highlight many of the positive changes that have occurred for me and they have also helped to keep me grounded through the tough times. I have a daily mantra which is a quote by Raymond Chandler
"Ability is what you are capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it"

Over the last 12 months I have received so much positive feedback from through out the organisation but its only recently I have truly started to realise that I do make a difference.

Thank you for believing in me (abridged)

This was part of a presentation I gave to the executive team who sponsored me through this programme

Sydney Here I come...

Its 3 weeks today since we came home from Melbourne to be greeted by the fire truck!! What a hectic time it has been!! Dealing with insurers,cleaners, choosing carpet painters, selecting curtains and buying a new bed and bedroom furniture. Also hours sorting out what needed to be disposed and several trips to the dump!

Its all starting to come together and we are hoping to be back in our bedroom by Wednesday next week. Can't wait to try out the new bed.

When we booked this long weekend trip to Sydney back on the eve of our trip to Melbourne we did not realise how fortuitous the timing would be!! We are both so ready for a break.

Rick is there at present and I am joining him on Thursday only 2 more sleeps...

Time to STOP and go back to WW101

After slowing down with my weightloss to a slow trickle (500gms in 4 weeks and 300 of them were today!!) its time to take stock and refocus!

I have decided to go back to day 1 as I am wondering if I am taking liberties that I have not recognised. I religiously track,stay within points, and exercise and drink 3 litres of water per day BUT its not happening at present.

SO back to WW101.
1. I have revisited the onsite tour as I did on the first day in the hope of inspiration. Unfortunately not much inspiration there as the "Run time" errors sabotaged that!!

2. Back to the recipe books to try out new meals. Tonight is lamb shanks with mushroom ragout and mashed potato. I plan to try out 2 new recipes each week to add to my favourites list.

3. WEIGH,WEIGH,Weigh everything that I eat.

4. I will go back to healthy salads for lunch and reduce t he carbs

5 I MUST MUST try to knock my nemesis DIET COKE on the head. I have tried on several occasions but although reduced I have not been able to let it go!!

I so want to be a 60's girl again and to banish the last 7.4kgs that will get me to GOAL

OMG Wedding and engagement rings now fit perfectly!!

As a reward for my 25kg goal back in early July, I had my wedding and engagement rings repaired after they had been cut off and stored in the safe over 5 years ago. The woman in the jewelery store sized my finger and said that I would need to go up 2 sizes. I made the decision to get them re soldered and NOT resized.

When I picked them up there was no way they would fit onto my finger so back into the safe they went. 2 weeks ago I tried them on again to discover that I could get them both on but it became very evident if I wanted my finger to survive one of them had to come off!! So after a struggle to remove it, back into the safe my engagement ring went.

Last night after doing some more fire clean up I tried again and FINALLY I could get both rings on and off with very little trouble and I have worn both all day today and still have a healthy finger!!!

I keep looking at my beautiful rings and feel intense pleasure to be able to have them back where they belong!!

Surprise at the GYM

I guess you are wondering what it might be!! I have totally surprised myself with how much I am enjoying the gym routine. 4 years ago when I embarked on a weight loss cycle I joined a gym with great expectations. I signed up for a year convincing myself that I could do this BUT alas as with the "diet" both only lasted 2 weeks!! Rick worked it out it cost $500 per visit!

So you can imagine the trepidation and procrastination that went into the decision to try again!! Even though the healthy eating side of things was going extra ordinarily well there was a huge risk involved.

What is different this time round??

1 I know what I want and what I need to do to get what I want

2 I found the time of day that works best for me. I am a morning person so 6am before I start work fits perfectly into my day.

3 I have joined a supervised gym the PTs follow you through the circuit and advise and encourage and push you through for maximum benefit.

4 I can be in and out of the gym in 45 minutes including 20 minutes on the Exercycle

I have been going religiously 3 times a week for 6 weeks now and its such a part of my routine that when I went on 2 weeks holiday I was concerned that I would "break " the habit!! Definitely not the case as when we came home to discover the fire in the house I was so disappointed I could not get to the Gym the next day!!!

A new positive habit has formed that will contribute to making me a winner in this journey....

Finding myself

For me this is a journey of finding myself. I am self absorbed like I have never been before understanding my triggers and making a choice to react in a way that is not self destructive.

For the first time I feeling like a winner in this long road to goal and beyond. The journey is one I am on for life and what wonderful people I have found along the way to share the highs and lows the success and disappointments which every journey has.

I know who I am and what I want in life